A few weeks ago I had a phone chat with my Mom, and she told me that my Aunt had seen some Facebook videos of me, lifting weights. She thought that I was getting “too muscular” for a woman and that I should stop doing this! This made me laugh and inspired today's video.
Watch it here:
The Myth Of “Too Bulky For A Woman”
For a long time, the image I had in my mind of the “ideal” female body looked a lot like what you see in magazines or fitness ads: thin arms, thin legs, and a tiny waist that looks like it could snap in half. It was an image shaped by culture, media, and social pressure—one that quietly taught us that “strong” and “feminine” don’t go together.
That was my ideal, and that's why the only form of exercise for me was running. I almost never lifted weights, because what if that made me bulky? Not what I was going for.
Many women think that lifting will make them “bulky,” “manly,” or “too big.” I hear it often: “I don’t want to get too bulky,” or “I just want to tone, not build muscle.”
Recently, even my own aunt commented after seeing a video of me lifting: “You’re getting too big, too bulky for a woman. You should stop lifting those weights.” That used to shake me. But today, I just smiled—because I know the truth.
Here are three things every woman needs to know about strength training if they have the fear of getting to huge.
1. Getting “Big and Bulky” Is Actually Really Hard
Let’s get this one out of the way first: building significant muscle mass as a woman is incredibly difficult. If you’re not trying to get big, trust me, you won’t.
You Need Intense, Heavy, Structured Training
To get “bulky,” you’d need to lift very heavy weights multiple times per week, with structured programming, progressive overload, and near-perfect consistency. And that’s not what most women are doing.
Most women I know, especially beginners, are lifting moderate weights in group classes or boot camps. These workouts are fine, but they’re not intense enough, consistent enough, or heavy enough to produce dramatic muscle size. Even if you’re lifting heavy barbells at the gym, bulking up still requires years of dedication, not a few months of doing cute little circuit workouts.
Hormones Make It Even Harder
Here’s the biological truth: women don’t produce enough testosterone to gain muscle like men do. While we do have testosterone in our bodies, the levels are much lower, making it almost impossible to accidentally “get huge” from lifting a few times a week. I say this all the time: “You will not bulk up just by touching the weights.”
You Have to Eat… A Lot
Muscle doesn’t just come from training—it requires specific nutrition, too. And here’s the wild part: most women I work with are not eating enough to gain muscle, even if they wanted to.
I’ve seen women eating as little as 1,200 calories a day, sometimes intentionally but other times unknowingly. If you’re not getting enough food—especially protein—you simply won’t grow. To gain serious size, women would need to consistently eat a calorie surplus, plus 150–200g of protein daily, which is far beyond what most women currently consume. Check out my Lean Ladies Calorie, Protein and Workout Guide for more information.
You Need to Recover Like a Pro Athlete
Muscle grows during recovery, not during workouts. That means deep, high-quality sleep, ideally 8–9 hours per night, and managing stress. If you’re sleeping poorly, constantly stressed, or skipping workouts due to life demands (which is normal!), your body won’t prioritize muscle growth. If anything, it’ll work against it.
I wish more of us slept like this… We'd get much better results from our workouts but your chances of getting bulky are still very slim.
So, if you’re afraid you’ll “get too big” just from lifting twice a week and eating normal meals… you can officially let that fear go.
2. Tune Out the Noise and Be Proud of Your Strength
Here’s something I wish I’d learned earlier: there will always be someone who doesn’t like the way you look.
Whether you’re muscular, curvy, lean, or anything in between—somebody will have an opinion. But why should their opinion carry more weight than your own?
I’ve grown to love my strong arms, my defined quads, and the shape I’ve built from lifting. I feel proud because of the work I’ve put in. Muscle is earned. It represents consistency, care, and commitment to my health.
So if someone tells you you're “too muscular” or “too much,” smile and keep going.
You deserve to feel powerful in your body.
3. Strength Training Has Health Benefits You Can’t Get Anywhere Else
Forget aesthetics for a moment. Even if you never cared about having visible muscle, there are specific health benefits you can only get from strength training—and they’re life-changing.
A Faster Metabolism and Easier Fat Loss
Muscle is metabolically active. That means the more muscle you have, the more calories your body burns—even at rest. So if your goal is fat loss or maintaining a healthy weight long-term, strength training is your secret weapon.
With more muscle, you don’t need to obsess over burning 400 calories during cardio just to “earn” your next meal. Your body burns more naturally, even when you’re lounging on the couch.
Better Blood Sugar Control and Lower Risk of Diabetes
Building muscle isn’t just about strength—it’s also one of the best ways to prevent type 2 diabetes. When you eat carbs, your blood sugar rises. Muscle acts like a sponge, soaking up that glucose and using it for energy.
Without enough muscle, your body struggles to manage blood sugar, which can lead to insulin resistance and eventually diabetes. Weight loss is great—but building muscle is essential.
Stronger Bones and Better Hormonal Health
As women age, we face a real risk of bone density loss, especially during and after menopause. Strength training helps prevent that.
When muscles pull on bones during resistance exercises, bones respond by getting stronger. Think of lifting weights as your best insurance policy against osteoporosis.
And let’s not forget—lifting improves mood, reduces anxiety, supports better sleep, and helps regulate hormones. It’s one of the most comprehensive forms of self-care I can think of.
Final Thoughts
If you’ve been holding back from strength training because you’re scared of getting bulky, I hope this post helps you see the bigger picture.
Getting bulky is hard. Being strong is powerful.
Strength training won’t make you less feminine. It won’t take away from your softness, your grace, or your beauty. If anything, it will enhance your confidence, your energy, and your ability to show up fully in your life.
And if someone ever tells you you’re “too much,” remind them that you didn’t come here to be less.
You came here to be strong.
Are you looking for a solid strength training plan to get you started with building muscle and losing fat? My Fit from Scratch workout plan is exactly what you need.
Additional Resources
Fit From Scratch: Free follow-along workouts that are beginner-friendly. Choose between bodyweight only or dumbbells option: https://kerstenkimura.com/fit-from-scratch/
FREE Lean Ladies Calorie, Protein and Workout Guide: https://kerstenkimura.com/lean-ladies-calorie-protein-and-workout-guide-2/
FREE Course Strong and Sensitive: https://kerstenkimura.com/14-day
FREE nervous system regulation guide for anxiety: https://kerstenkimura.com/3-somatic-exercises-free-guide/
Beginner Level Strength Training Program: https://courses.kerstenkimura.com/train-to-build-starter-program/
Intermediate Level Strength Training Program: https://courses.kerstenkimura.com/train-to-build-intermediate/
Fit and Fueled Vault: A collection of 75+ video trainings providing sustainable, holistic approach to strength, nourishment, and nervous system regulation for women. NO DIETS. https://courses.kerstenkimura.com/fit-and-fueled-vault-course/
Emotionally Fit is my emotional awareness program for chronic pain or other chronic symptom recovery. You can find it here: https://courses.kerstenkimura.com/emotionally-fit-program/
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