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The 5 Hidden Habits Keeping Your Nervous System in a State of Stress (and What to Do Instead)

Over the years, I’ve coached dozens—probably hundreds—of women through their health and fitness journeys, and no matter what their specific goal is, one thing always comes up: stress. Not just “I had a long day at work” kind of stress, but deep, chronic, nervous-system-is-on-edge 24/7 kind of stress.

And here’s the kicker: many of these women don’t realize that some of their healthiest intentions—like fasting, cutting carbs, or trying to stay “disciplined” with food—are the very things keeping their nervous system stuck in high alert.

Today, I want to share five of the biggest mistakes I see women making that look healthy on the surface but can actually lead to anxiety, fatigue, poor sleep, and that wired-but-tired feeling that just won’t go away.

1. Undereating Calories (Yes, Even If You Think You're Eating “Enough”)

Let’s start with the big one: not eating enough food. I can’t tell you how often I see women consistently consuming 1200–1600 calories a day, thinking they’re being “good” or “disciplined.”

Here’s the truth: that’s not enough for most adult women—especially if you’re moving your body, managing a household, raising kids, working full time, or doing literally anything beyond lying on the couch.

When your body isn’t getting the fuel it needs, your nervous system gets the message loud and clear: we’re not safe. Resources are scarce. Stay on high alert.

This leads to:

Low energy
Poor sleep
Thinning hair and dull skin
Constant anxiety and irritability

Not to mention—you’re way more likely to binge later or feel out of control around food. Your body is trying to survive.

2. Eating Enough Calories—But Not Enough Nutrients

Another sneaky issue I see? Eating “enough” calories, but those calories are not the kind of calories you want, coming from processed foods, tons of takeout, soda, or ultra-processed snacks.

This isn’t about perfection. Treats are fine. But if your food doesn’t deliver micronutrients (vitamins and minerals) and macronutrients (protein, healthy carbs, and fats), your nervous system still doesn’t feel supported.

Think of it this way: your body can’t run on empty fuel. Even if you’re full, you may still be nutrient-starved, and that creates ongoing biological stress.

3. Severely Undereating Protein

This one’s huge—most women are not eating nearly enough protein.

If you’re not tracking macros, my recommendation is to aim for a palm-sized serving of protein at least 3–4 times a day. If you are tracking, shoot for 100g+ per day as a solid starting point.

Why? Because protein stabilizes your blood sugar, reduces cravings, and helps you maintain steady energy and mental focus. When protein is too low, you’ll likely experience:

Big energy crashes
Brain fog
Mood swings
Intense cravings for sugar or carbs

And if you’re strength training? Protein is non-negotiable. Your muscles, hormones, and metabolism need it to function properly—and so does your nervous system.

4. Avoiding Carbohydrates Like the Plague

Ah, carbs. The poor things have been demonized for years. But I’ve seen firsthand what happens when women, especially active women, cut carbs too low—especially over time.

Sure, some people do well on lower-carb diets for short periods. But most of the women I work with eventually crash and burn on carnivore, keto, or ultra-low-carb plans.

I start seeing signs like:

Anxiety
Headaches
Hair loss
Disrupted sleep
Poor workout recovery

Carbohydrates are essential for hormonal balance and fertility, and they help shift your body back into the parasympathetic state (aka rest and digest)—especially when consumed after a workout.

If you’ve been avoiding carbs out of fear, please start reintroducing them. Your body will thank you.

5. Skipping Breakfast and Overusing Fasting

Skipping breakfast might seem harmless—or even “biohacker chic”—but for many women, it’s a hidden stressor. When you delay food intake first thing in the morning, cortisol rises, and your body stays in that fight-or-flight mode even longer.

Add coffee on an empty stomach and you’ve just poured jet fuel on the fire.

Instead, I recommend a high-protein breakfast within an hour of waking, and no coffee before food. This simple change can work wonders for energy, mood, blood sugar, and yes—your nervous system health.

How to Actually Support Your Nervous System

If any of the above felt like a personal callout—don’t worry, I’ve been there too. You don’t need to overhaul your entire life overnight. But if you want to support your nervous system, start with these basics:

Eat enough food. Don’t fear calories. Your body needs energy to feel safe and relaxed.
Prioritize protein. Make it the star of your meals.
Include carbohydrates. Especially before and after workouts.
Eat breakfast. Within an hour of waking—and include protein.
Skip the coffee-on-an-empty-stomach routine. Feed your body first.
Avoid extreme fasting or skipping meals. Regular nourishment tells your body: “I’ve got you.”

And yes—enjoy your chocolate, your pizza, your glass of wine. But make sure the foundation of your nutrition is solid first.

Beyond Food: Somatic Practices to Feel Safe Again

While food is absolutely foundational, it’s not the only piece of the puzzle. You can nourish your body with the best meals and still feel stuck in stress mode if your nervous system is constantly bracing for impact.

That’s where somatic practices come in.

These are simple physical techniques—like breathwork, gentle touch, movement, sound, and visual grounding—that help your body feel safe again. You can’t just “think” your way out of anxiety, but you can train your body to shift back into calm.

I created a free guide with three simple somatic exercises that take less than four minutes. I often say these are more powerful than 100 mindset affirmations—and they’ve helped so many of my clients find calm without willpower.

The Rainy Day Chili (Because Nervous Systems Need Comfort Too)

Okay, now for the cozy part of this post. It rained the other day—which is a rare treat where I live—and I immediately craved something warm, savory, and comforting. So I whipped up a batch of chili, completely unplanned, because I rarely follow recipes.

Here’s how I made it:

Ingredients:

Red meat (beef) – I love using beef for its flavor and nutrient density. No added fat needed.
Kidney beans – Soaked for 8 hours.
Frozen corn, diced tomatoes, lots of onion, garlic, and jalapeño (seeds removed!).
Seasonings: Redmond’s real salt, chili powder, coriander, cayenne, and black pepper. (I forgot cumin—oops. You can always adjust later.)

How I cooked it:

Threw everything into the Instant Pot—no precooking the garlic or onions because I’m all about keeping it simple.
Added a small glass of water to meet the liquid requirement.
Set to manual for 25 minutes to ensure the beans cooked fully.

That’s it. Warm, comforting, high-protein, and full of fiber and micronutrients. The kind of food that makes your body feel safe and satisfied.

Final Thoughts

If you’ve been feeling tired, anxious, moody, or just off—it might not be a mindset problem. It might be that your body doesn’t feel safe.

Start by feeding it. Nourish it with what it needs. Then bring in the somatic tools. You don’t need more restriction—you need support.

And if you want help getting started, grab my free Somatic Reset Guide for quick and easy nervous system support. You deserve to feel calm, strong, and home in your body again.

Here are the links to the kitchen tools and other products that I mention in this episode (affiliate links):
Garlic Peeler Garlic Skin Remover: https://amzn.to/3FHHcDD
Japanese Can Opener: https://amzn.to/3ZjKrrD
Redmond Real Salt: https://amzn.to/4kuLj4Y